Sex & Journalism

I appreciate all my readers and I thank anyone who contriubtes their opinions to my posts, but be it warned, should one challenge the devil to a spar, one should be armed with a very good pair of gloves. The devil's heat is intense and her own gloves are... Prada, naturally.

And now, a debate with a reader regarding the entry Putting The V In V-Day.

Hi Raquel. Okay, I have insomnia again so I am going to be the Devil's Advocate again for the following paragraph you wrote. Let me preface by saying I completely respect you and your lifestyle. If you are happy with yourself then you are way ahead of what many people feel about themselves.

Now on to your paragraph.

"It’s also possible that I’m just comfortable with myself, that I have evolved beyond the average, superficial, and oft illogical thinking of the common, insecure and simpleminded human."

I think you are making some big leaps of faith here. Just because someone may not agree with your lifestyle doesn't make them superficial, insecure or simpleminded. It just means they don't agree with you. Some of them may be superficial or insecure or simpleminded, but if I were a betting man I'd say that most of them are not.

Clearly I’m using some very extreme situations here. Such a thing is often done for dramatic effect in rhetoric, writing and other forms of entertainment. You’re over analysis of my every word, while flattering, is a reflection of just how insomnious and bored you must be. Being familiar with you, I know you are an educated man. I’m sure you are already aware of this, but for the reader’s sake, I am going to offer a definition of dramatic effect. A dramatic effect is created by something that is meant to grab the attention of the audience. While perhaps exaggerated, the meaning is to drive a point home. It is often not exactly what is being seen or heard that is meant to be understood. Rather, it is the feeling or mood created by that effect that is supposed to be considered. For instance, since I happen to currently be studying Shakespeare, allow me to make an example of Othello. This play presents an unrealistic bloody scene of mass murder, depicting a heroine who somehow comes back to life after being smothered to protest her guilty husband’s “innocence” before she says her last farewell and then gracefully dies a pure and chaste virgin (despite being married). This, among other somewhat ludicrous things we’re are supposed to accept as real (like the attending to and coming back from a war) all happen within less than two hours. Despite how preposterous all of this is, the moral of the story is one that urges real people to consider real ways of behavior in their real lives. This is a recurring theme in his work. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not egotistically comparing myself to Shakespeare. Again, this is a personal use of dramatic effect, used to encourage the consideration of my point, not to encourage the careful critical analysis of every word I post. My suggestion to you: do yourself a favor and invest in some Ambien.

"It is possible that I’m just bold, confident and unapologetically secure."

Again, just because others don't have the same opinions as you doesn't mean they cannot be bold or confident or secure. People who believe in prostitution do not corner the market on those qualities.

When did I say that people who are different that I am are not bold, confident or secure? And more so, when did I ever say that people who are in the same industry are all these things? There are plenty of people in the sex and adult entertainment industry who are none of these things. I’d go so far as to say most of them aren’t. I’ve also known doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs and people of the sort who are none of these things. I’m not at all saying that prostitutes are bold and wonderful creatures and everyone who disagrees with them is wrong and insecure. Why do you think that I am generalizing entire populations here? Again, you are really taking this one step too far. AMBIEN!

"Sex isn’t a bad word to me and I don’t think men or money are evil."

Who said that people who are against prostitution believe that men and money are evil? I know a number of women who do not escort and I can safely say that they do not believe men or money are evil. I even checked with my mother. She's not an escort that I know of and she has nothing against men or money.

A natural critic you are, as you seem to have the knack for being absurd. I have a good doctor in Beverly Hills that is happy to part with his sample of sleep aids. He is a man who has money. I have a few friends who know them. None of them are escorts and none of us think that he or his possessions are evil.

“It’s possible that in actually being excited by the things that society says I’m not supposed to be excited by…”

I think in reality, society doesn't care that much about what you do. The punishment for prostitution isn't that harsh and many think it should be legalized. I think in terms of prostitution, society is concerned about the literal street walker who is hooked on drugs and is engaged in prostitution to support a drug habit. That concerns me too.

Society cares about what other people are doing. Do you not have a television, computer, magazine or newspapers? Do you not speak to other human beings? Society cares very much about what other people are doing. There is a link on my blog called “My Mission” which only gives several out of hundreds of exemplifications as how society concerns itself with the activities of others. Also, I’ve noted another comment that you made to another one of my entries. This is what you said word for word:

“…but for whatever reason society has deemed prostitution a bad thing.”

Darling, let me just warn you than when playing devil’s advocate, it’s not a good idea to contradict your own arguments.

Let's face it, the majority of women who are engaged in prostitution don't do it because they are excited by it. I have yet to know anyone who from childhood wanted to be an escort. Maybe that's societal pressure, I don't know. I think women become escorts or prostitutes because circumstances push them into that direction. Some decide they enjoy it while others probably hate every second of it. And no matter if an escort enjoys her work or not my guess is that not many escorts would be thrilled if their daughters came to them and told them they wanted to be escorts too. So, if I am right about that, I guess even escorts can exert some societal pressure against prostitution.

I can’t speak for everyone. I can only speak for myself, but because there are an estimated 6.76 billion people in this world, I assume that by my speaking for myself I am speaking for a fair number of people who share my beliefs, but who do not have the same outlet as I have. Did I grow up wanting to be a paid companion? When I was growing up, I was forced to believe a religion that taught me sex would send a person straight to Hell. When I was growing up. I didn’t know a lot of things that I know now. If it weren’t for the fear of Hell via sex, I may very well have become a paid companion much sooner than I did, because when I was growing up, I promised myself that I would never be like the people around me and by having become a companion, I have seen to it that my life both present and future is far brighter than theirs was or ever had the chance of being. If I were so selfish and ignorant to have a daughter despite the fact that I couldn’t afford to give her a healthy fighting chance, and she came to me and said “Mom, I’ve found a way to survive. It is providing me with all the things you can’t and it happens to be prostitution.” Then I would be happy to know that she is smarter than I am in that she is a survivor who can pay the debt that I created for her as opposed to creating her own new debt.

"I’m expressing a manifestation of a more elevated, spiritual, intellectual and emotional capacity. It's possible that I am just mature enough to be fully capable of (gasp) thinking for myself, as opposed to allowing myself to be spoon fed information therefore stifling myself and complying to silly, unrealistic “ideals”."

Raquel, you're starting to sound a little full of yourself and maybe a little persecuted too. I don't think people really care what you do for a living. As long as prostitution is not thrust in people's faces they don't care. They have their own lives to worry about. It's only when it is out in the open that people start to care. - and I think that makes sense and is acceptable.

I’d like to encourage you to read the emotion here. I begin this sentence with the words “It’s possible”. I’m offering the reader an opportunity to consider things from an angle that most people may not encounter. I am aware that you have a creative job in Hollywood. You are blessed with a fantastic, expansive imagination full of imagery and alternative thinking. You are not most people.

And I would also like to once again draw your attention to your own comment, “but for whatever reason society has deemed prostitution a bad thing”.

I rest my case.

"Either way, I like myself."

You should. You are obviously a bright woman and you've had a lot of interesting experiences. You have a lot going for you and I wish you the best of luck.

Thank you. These are very kind words, and I too, wish you the best of luck in your quest for sleep.

There's more where that comes from, MK, but I will let you go to your corner to grab a sip of water before I address your post to my other entry. Besides, I have to go blow all this steam off my gloves.

Raquel

I am beside myself. Never have I been so offended by someone’s behavior. I was willing to let his obnoxious, aggressive and selfish political views slide. I was willing to let it slide that he believes that Catholicism is the only one true religion. I was willing to let it slide that he spoke loudly so to draw the entire rooms attention to himself. Besides all those things, he was great. He was cute, attentive, fun, a good listener, a good kisser…rich. He liked good food, went to nice places, dressed well, traveled the world, spoke French and was dedicated to being actively involved with cancer foundations. I liked that being with him was comfortable and felt natural and easy. The fact that he liked to drink didn’t bother me because I like to drink too. I just didn’t know to what extent he liked to drink until last Saturday, when he kicked me out of bed for the sake of going out to the bar to meet up with his sister and get trashed with her group of friends. We had already been drinking, and I had enough. The plan, I thought, was to head home after our cocktails to spend some quality time together. But in the midst of our…um…getting to know each other, he suggested that we stop, go to the bar again to throw back a couple more martinis and then come back to his place to finish what we had started. This was of course, after he suggested that we take some Ambien for recreation. Apparently, me naked in his bed lying next to him isn't nearly as interesting as taking pills and getting smashed. He constantly jokes about rehab being for quitters. His cabinet is stocked with pills. I guess I should have paid more attention to the flags. I said that I should probably go home because I wasn’t in the same frame of mind that he was and I couldn’t keep up with him. I hadn’t yet told him how offended I was. I was trying to be calm and remain cordial. He walked me out the door and as I pulled away, he did too. Off to the bar he went, as I drove an hour to get home because he was more interested in getting trashed than in spending a nice, coherent time with me. I am shocked and offended beyond any shock and offense I have ever experienced with a date before. I waited for him to call the next day, like he said he would and when he didn’t, I admit I became even more hurt and vindictive and sent some nasty text messages confronting him on his chemical dependencies and what terrible behavior he displayed toward me. Today, he has sent a few texts calling me dramatic and mean spirited. He didn’t apologize for what he did to me. He didn’t say, “You know what, maybe I do drink too much. Thanks for caring.” He just told me that I was mean and that he wished me the best of luck. To top that off, I got a text message from Coconut stating that he was not going to be able to talk to me anymore because he needed to straighten up his life. He said that (after going to Mexico and Turks and Caicos) he was going on a 3 week sabbatical in the Himalayas to get his head back on. He said that I was important to him, that I am a great person and the he is an asshole who just is who he is. He said that he hopes I find success because my happiness means a lot to him and that I would be in his memory forever. When I texted him back to ask him to clarify his message, I of course, got no response. Then F3 showed up at my door and couldn’t figure out why I was so stressed. Of course, I can’t tell him these things, so I was vague, which led him to tell me once again how incredibly difficult it is to get to know me and how terribly guarded of a person I am. Great. This is just what I needed to hear. Regardless of the bad timing, what was I supposed to say? Am I supposed to tell him that the reason I’m so guarded is because my entire life is one big, controversial secret? Hardly. I instead told him that most people want to know you until they get to know you and then they realize that they were better off not knowing you. I told him that he just needed to accept that he was in a better position knowing less about me. “Mystery is sexy,” I said. He told me that I was just like his life partner. He has two kids with her and lives with her, and he still barely knows her. I probably could have handled the conversation better. I get snappy when I become emotional, though.

I am supposed to be studying right now but all I’m doing is vibrating. I am so frustrated with men, their irresponsibility and their inability to communicate. It’s bad enough that I can’t maintain a decent dating relationship with someone I like, but add to it that I can’t even get a decent client, and guess how I’m feeling right now! What does it take for a nice girl to meet a guy who’s actually…I don’t know…sane, available, expresses some class and is willing to communicate? Is that asking for four qualities too many? I am vibrating so much I am about to explode. Thank God I don’t keep alcohol in my apartment. I’m in a vulnerable state where I’m feeling emotional enough to reach out to anything that would help ease the pain of my disappointment and allow myself to spin down a very dark spiral.

God, I just want something to go right for once. Tears for the tragedy that is Raquel’s life! Can I get some violins, please? It would be lovely background music for me while I kick the walls and cry at the same time.

Kicked out of bed!!! FOR A MARTINI!

Raquel