Sex & Journalism

In my hunt for sexuality in world news today, I came across a story of a woman I found intriguing.  It’s a story that is somewhat familiar, and yet so completely strange to me.  Actually, strange is not the word.  Abhorrent is a more appropriate term.  Aaliyah is a European model and mistress (although no model mistress). She is a pretty brunette who claims to date five men for a living, all married uber-millionaires or billionaires that provide her with a comfortable lifestyle and loads of expensive jewelry and cars.  My initial reaction to the story was “Good for her.”  A karate black belt who loves sex and traveling?  What’s not to like?  But then, as I scrolled down and really digested what I was reading, I increasingly became more nauseated.  "Naked Greed" is the title of the article and rightfully so.

I understand her lifestyle to an extent.  We've had similar past experiences.  Neither one of us have a reason to believe in marriage and neither of us want kids.  These days, with a very rare exception, I do not see clients.  There are a few men in the loop who I rely on to survive.  They are all married, and are the closest things to boyfriends that I have.  Like her, I have, in the past, received beautiful sparkling gifts and I have cared genuinely about two of the men I’ve known.  We have these things in common.  But this is where we end in similarity.

The money I receive goes to rent and tuition, books and bills.  I do not use my friends generosity on a flashy lifestyle.  Rodeo Drive is a walk away from me, but I don’t shop there.  The thing I seem to understand that she doesn’t yet, is that these men won’t always be there.  At some point, both they and their money are going to vanish.  What then will she have besides a collection of overpriced Italian bags and some diamond necklaces?  She expressed no goals, no plans for the future.  It’s possible that she has them, and the journalist intentionally left them out to make her appear much more superficial than she is, but based of the simple fact that she went through a laundry list of all her material possessions and their value, I am under the impression that she doesn’t think about much besides designers and labels.  I really want to believe that a sexy woman who appreciates “the finer things” can also be smart with the things she is blessed with.  I also want to believe that mistresses understand that theirs is a fleeting lifestyle and that that they must maximize what they’ve got while their being given it, which does NOT mean shopping sprees and 5 days a week of clubbing, but I read things like this and it gives me little hope.  She would have my utmost respect and admiration if I learned that she were starting a non-profit, or going after a graduate degree, trying to open her own boutique, was looking for a "real job" or was investing in… something, anything!  But this is not the case, and unfortunately, something I believe is a sad reality for a lot of women in her position.

I’m sure she looks lovely in Tiffany’s and French lingerie, and I completely understand how exciting it is to receive those things, but to brag about her gifts and their value, as opposed to explaining the kindness of the men who give them to her or the meaning behind the gifts is just disgusting.  If she said something about how, by having these things, she has become empowered, or has learned that she is valuable, or has developed a new confidence, or how she has been able to move forward in her life by the support of her male friends, I would be much more inclined to appreciate what she’s doing.  But that’s not what she’s interested in or what she cares about and I am truly saddened by her vacuousness.

As if that weren’t bad enough, she allows the journalists to use descriptions and photos of her boyfriends.  Mindblowing!  I’m sure the names have been changed, and the faces have been blurred, but the bodies, the settings the clothes are all identifiable.  The job descriptions, their locations, their estimated worth and the number of children they have are all seem to be true.  As a companion to gentlemen very similar to hers, I feel that is it my job to protect them.  No matter how angry I became with them, no matter how betrayed I may feel by them at times, I would under no circumstance put them in the public eye the way she did.  I pride myself in my loyalty to the men I associate with and I would never put their privacy and potentially life and career at stake in order to draw attention to myself.  I can only think that she was hoping to get some kind of book deal or television offer by sharing this information.  A multimillion dollar deal for something like this is completely unrealistic and highly unlikely. But even an offer like that would still not convince me to out Coconut or Fancy Pants or any of the other men I’ve known, even the ones I had no real emotional ties to.  I would sell my stories in a heartbeat, but not if it meant putting the characters in my stories in harms way.  My responsibility as mistress and a friend is to provide these men with several things.  One of the most important things I provide is trust.  They can trust that no matter what or when, their secrets will always remain safe with me.  I can not believe how selfish this woman has been to potentially endanger these men who did nothing but give to her.  What I wouldn’t give to be able to sit across from her and ask her if she have no heart and no consideration.  How can a woman bite the hand that feeds her?  If she’s mad at them and needs to vent, she should create a blog and type to her hearts content.  But expose them to the world is to potentially ruin life as they know it?  What exactly is running through this woman’s head?  She looks like the kind of girl who might have a soul, but her actions would say otherwise and I sympathize with the men she entertains.

Again, in all fairness, I understand that journalism is very biased and that there may well have been some message lost.  But I must also say that her complete lack of discretion in this article makes it difficult to believe that I could possibly be misconstruing the message that much.  Aaliyah is a woman who has been blessed with a nice lifestyle and the things it takes to attract the men who have provided her with it, but Aliyah has much to learn.  If she values what she has, then she should be more careful with it.  These blessings can go as easily as they come.  To practice such revolting indiscretion is a shame.

Naked Greed

Raquel