Sex & Journalism

Hi Raquel. Thank you for responding to my comments. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to respond to yours. I'm not sure of the best way to do this without if being confusing format wise. I bolded and italicized my most recent comments.

Raquel: "It’s also possible that I’m just comfortable with myself, that I have evolved beyond the average, superficial, and oft illogical thinking of the common, insecure and simpleminded human."

MK: I think you are making some big leaps of faith here. Just because someone may not agree with your lifestyle doesn't make them superficial, insecure or simpleminded. It just means they don't agree with you. Some of them may be superficial or insecure or simpleminded, but if I were a betting man I'd say that most of them are not.

Raquel: Clearly I’m using some very extreme situations here. Such a thing is often done for dramatic effect in rhetoric, writing and other forms of entertainment. You’re over analysis of my every word, while flattering, is a reflection of just how insomnious and bored you must be. Being familiar with you, I know you are an educated man. I’m sure you are already aware of this, but for the reader’s sake, I am going to offer a definition of dramatic effect. A dramatic effect is created by something that is meant to grab the attention of the audience. While perhaps exaggerated, the meaning is to drive a point home. It is often not exactly what is being seen or heard that is meant to be understood. Rather, it is the feeling or mood created by that effect that is supposed to be considered. For instance, since I happen to currently be studying Shakespeare, allow me to make an example of Othello. This play presents an unrealistic bloody scene of mass murder, depicting a heroine who somehow comes back to life after being smothered to protest her guilty husband’s “innocence” before she says her last farewell and then gracefully dies a pure and chaste virgin (despite being married). This, among other somewhat ludicrous things we’re are supposed to accept as real (like the attending to and coming back from a war) all happen within less than two hours. Despite how preposterous all of this is, the moral of the story is one that urges real people to consider real ways of behavior in their real lives. This is a recurring theme in his work. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not egotistically comparing myself to Shakespeare. Again, this is a personal use of dramatic effect, used to encourage the consideration of my point, not to encourage the careful critical analysis of every word I post. My suggestion to you: do yourself a favor and invest in some Ambien.

First of all, I can't believe you'd rather have me take sleeping pills than read your blog. If you don't want people to read it carefully, then why have it? I think you're a really bright person. You should want people to hear what you have to say and I can't believe that you don't. Although I did have insomnia, there were many things I could have been doing instead. Remember, I know what you look like and have photos of you. I could have been appreciating them - like I have many times before (that's a different story), but I wanted to carefully read your blog because I enjoy it.

If you say you are using dramatic effect, then fine. You know what you intended better than anyone. However, I wouldn't say the dramatic effect you intended was clear. When I read it sounded more like name calling. I thought you were judging people who didn't believe like you did and were using negative terms like superficial, insecure, and simpleminded. to describe them. Maybe you didn't go far enough and that's why I didn't get it. For instance, if you had written, "These people are so simpleminded that they couldn't spell cat if you spotted them the "c" and the "t" I would have understood that you were being dramatic and intentionally overstating. But to just label someone simpleminded doesn't get the drama you intended across - to me anyway.

"It is possible that I’m just bold, confident and unapologetically secure."

Again, just because others don't have the same opinions as you doesn't mean they cannot be bold or confident or secure. People who believe in prostitution do not corner the market on those qualities.

When did I say that people who are different that I am are not bold, confident or secure? And more so, when did I ever say that people who are in the same industry are all these things? There are plenty of people in the sex and adult entertainment industry who are none of these things. I’d go so far as to say most of them aren’t. I’ve also known doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs and people of the sort who are none of these things. I’m not at all saying that prostitutes are bold and wonderful creatures and everyone who disagrees with them is wrong and insecure. Why do you think that I am generalizing entire populations here? Again, you are really taking this one step too far. AMBIEN!

I guess I was confused because this sentence was not in its own paragraph. It was connected to your previous statement about people being simpleminded. When you call people simpleminded humans and then say in the very next sentence in the same paragraph that you are bold, confident and secure, it implies to me that you are saying those who are simpleminded and insecure are not of the qualities you claim to possess. But, it seems like that is not what you intended after all.

"Sex isn’t a bad word to me and I don’t think men or money are evil."

Who said that people who are against prostitution believe that men and money are evil? I know a number of women who do not escort and I can safely say that they do not believe men or money are evil. I even checked with my mother. She's not an escort that I know of and she has nothing against men or money.

A natural critic you are, as you seem to have the knack for being absurd. I have a good doctor in Beverly Hills that is happy to part with his sample of sleep aids. He is a man who has money. I have a few friends who know them. None of them are escorts and none of us think that he or his possessions are evil.

Raquel - Resorting to ad hominem. That's beneath you. I guess that means you agree with me on this point.

“It’s possible that in actually being excited by the things that society says I’m not supposed to be excited by…”

I think in reality, society doesn't care that much about what you do. The punishment for prostitution isn't that harsh and many think it should be legalized. I think in terms of prostitution, society is concerned about the literal street walker who is hooked on drugs and is engaged in prostitution to support a drug habit. That concerns me too.

Society cares about what other people are doing. Do you not have a television, computer, magazine or newspapers? Do you not speak to other human beings? Society cares very much about what other people are doing. There is a link on my blog called “My Mission” which only gives several out of hundreds of exemplifications as how society concerns itself with the activities of others. Also, I’ve noted another comment that you made to another one of my entries. This is what you said word for word:

“…but for whatever reason society has deemed prostitution a bad thing.”

Darling, let me just warn you than when playing devil’s advocate, it’s not a good idea to contradict your own arguments.

I like when you call me Darling, but that's besides the point. Sorry, if I was unclear. Society doesn't care about what you specifically do under the conditions you do them. If we are at a restaurant, and you tell the waitress, I am MK's paid companion for the night and we are going to have paid sex later that evening. Does the waitress care? Maybe for 10 seconds until she has to clean up table number 5. Say the next day you are at one of your college classes and you let is slip that you are an escort. Does anyone care? Maybe to the degree that whomever knows wishes they had the money to hire you, but do you get expelled? Are you asked to go to the Dean's Office? Are you kicked out of class? I don't think so.

Yes, society cares about many people - Barack Obama, The Jonas Brothers, the Octo Mom to name a few, but you are minding your own business doing your thing. As I said, if you were out on the streets engaged in prostitution then society would care a lot more than it does. If you were a high school teacher and escorting on the side, society would care. If you had children and were having paid sex in the bedroom while the kids watched TV in the family room, society would care. But you are not in any of those situations. You are a single woman meeting rich guys and having fun. You are not in anyone's way and no one except those who need to know have any idea what you are up to. I know you were busted doing exactly that and that is an argument that society does care, but I don't really buy it. I wonder if you would have ever been busted if you were not involved with a ring that included a lot of important people including the Governor of NY? The Spitzer case was never about the prostitutes. It was about Spitzer using prostitutes. Sure the hooker he worked with got her 15 minutes of fame, but I'll bet by now most people can't remember her name. I sure can't. This is not a story that is even written about if there are not very, very famous clients involved.

Let's face it, the majority of women who are engaged in prostitution don't do it because they are excited by it. I have yet to know anyone who from childhood wanted to be an escort. Maybe that's societal pressure, I don't know. I think women become escorts or prostitutes because circumstances push them into that direction. Some decide they enjoy it while others probably hate every second of it. And no matter if an escort enjoys her work or not my guess is that not many escorts would be thrilled if their daughters came to them and told them they wanted to be escorts too. So, if I am right about that, I guess even escorts can exert some societal pressure against prostitution.

I can’t speak for everyone. I can only speak for myself, but because there are an estimated 6.76 billion people in this world, I assume that by my speaking for myself I am speaking for a fair number of people who share my beliefs, but who do not have the same outlet as I have. Did I grow up wanting to be a paid companion? When I was growing up, I was forced to believe a religion that taught me sex would send a person straight to Hell. When I was growing up. I didn’t know a lot of things that I know now. If it weren’t for the fear of Hell via sex, I may very well have become a paid companion much sooner than I did, because when I was growing up, I promised myself that I would never be like the people around me and by having become a companion, I have seen to it that my life both present and future is far brighter than theirs was or ever had the chance of being. If I were so selfish and ignorant to have a daughter despite the fact that I couldn’t afford to give her a healthy fighting chance, and she came to me and said “Mom, I’ve found a way to survive. It is providing me with all the things you can’t and it happens to be prostitution.” Then I would be happy to know that she is smarter than I am in that she is a survivor who can pay the debt that I created for her as opposed to creating her own new debt.

Okay, time out. You say that, "If it weren’t for the fear of Hell via sex, I may very well have become a paid companion much sooner than I did," Now I knew you before you were an escort and you were well into your 20's by then. Are you saying that even in your 20's you had a fear of Hell via sex?

You also say that if you were in such dire straights that would be okay with your daughter (if you had one) going into prostitution. That makes the question too easy. Sure, if it's starve to death or become a hooker, being a hooker is a no brainer. But, what if your daughter was middle class and was smart enough to go to college and could really do anything she wanted with her life. Are you saying you'd still be okay with her being a prostitute?

"I’m expressing a manifestation of a more elevated, spiritual, intellectual and emotional capacity. It's possible that I am just mature enough to be fully capable of (gasp) thinking for myself, as opposed to allowing myself to be spoon fed information therefore stifling myself and complying to silly, unrealistic “ideals”."

Raquel, you're starting to sound a little full of yourself and maybe a little persecuted too. I don't think people really care what you do for a living. As long as prostitution is not thrust in people's faces they don't care. They have their own lives to worry about. It's only when it is out in the open that people start to care. - and I think that makes sense and is acceptable.

I’d like to encourage you to read the emotion here. I begin this sentence with the words “It’s possible”. I’m offering the reader an opportunity to consider things from an angle that most people may not encounter. I am aware that you have a creative job in Hollywood. You are blessed with a fantastic, expansive imagination full of imagery and alternative thinking. You are not most people.

And I would also like to once again draw your attention to your own comment, “but for whatever reason society has deemed prostitution a bad thing”.

I rest my case.

Thank you for the compliment, Again, I will clarify and say that street prostitution is what society seems to care about most. If you check into a five star hotel with some famous athlete and get paid for the night, society doesn't care too much. In fact, I would guess that many women who would normally balk at the idea of prostitution would find what you do acceptable and maybe even enviable. If you are on the corner of Sunset and LaBrea trying to flag down cars for sex, these same women are going to be concerned.

"Either way, I like myself."

You should. You are obviously a bright woman and you've had a lot of interesting experiences. You have a lot going for you and I wish you the best of luck.

Thank you. These are very kind words, and I too, wish you the best of luck in your quest for sleep.

There's more where that comes from, MK, but I will let you go to your corner to grab a sip of water before I address your post to my other entry. Besides, I have to go blow all this steam off my gloves.

Raquel